There are moments when our thoughts are jumbled and restless. Our eyes skim across the horizon, our ears strain to isolate stray sounds, our nose sniffs the air for different aromas. Life is the sum of all of our senses, all of our sensations.
Life is what we remember, what we forget, and what we dream about. Life is what we pray for, what we believe, and what we share.
Writing this blog is an exploration of my beliefs, an exploration of being an American Catholic.
Writing can make any man neurotic. Writing a blog definitely can leave a person feeling a little unhinged. That is part of the appeal. Being vulnerable and sharing some as personal as views on religion and faith is difficult. All types of anxiety and angst threaten to derail any progress.
Being Catholic defines who I am I, influences how I live my life. I am alive and imperfect. I have questions about the Catechism, questions about Vatican II. Sometimes I hope that I will be alive for Vatican III.
Wednesday evenings are good for reflection, better for concentration. Wednesday is the middle of the week. A sense of balance accompanies this day because there are three days before and three days after. Reflection and concentration are good for the soul. We need to scrutinize our behaviors, scrutinize our mistakes and scrutinize sins. We need to examine our acts of charity, examine our acts of mercy, examine our acts of compassion.
I am aware that I need more prayer time. Sometimes I think that everybody needs more prayer time. I wonder if there could ever be a National Day of Personal Prayer and Reflection Day.
Urban existence is often simply unasked questions and unanswered prayers relocated from small towns. Helicopters circle above some buildings, limousines wait in front some hotels. Friday night they meet for drinks after work. Sunday afternoon they meet for brunch after Mass. Do they runaway to protect their souls? Do they turn away to learn how to love?
Being Catholic can be a lonely existence. Our Faith asks us to remember one act of love, one supreme sacrifice and then to model our lives on being selfless, loving, forgiving. These behaviors are not always easy. Being human means to be sometimes feel out of place; however, through the cacophony of life we, sometimes, can stumble upon an instance of beauty, peace when we can feel God’s presence.
But I am content to be write jumbled sentences about my restless wonderings, about all the sensations of my experiences as a Catholic.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Somewhere in Prayer
Everyone who believes in God possesses a private, unique and beautiful story. The Bible contains many examples of these stories.
Often it is from the simple repetitions in life and faith that resonance is gained.
The most inspiring thing about faith is the reality that at any moment in our lives we can receive God’s call. Anyone can receive it; the courageous will respond.
As with any choice, anxiety, angst, and even fear may tease or cloud judgement with questions or assumptions. The stronger a man’s sense of faith, the stronger is his resolve and ability to accept God’s request and live his life in God’s service.
The call can fill a man with hope, love, mercy, and compassion. Goodness may briefly opens a man’s eyes to the grandeur and beauty of God’s love. This introduction may lead to both virtuous thoughts and virtuous living. God offers a calming optimism as long as we can remain patient and allow ourselves to believe.
I like the stories which feature Peter. He is approachable because he is so naturally, human. Peter does not instantly become a paragon of virtue. Instead, he remains a human being who loved God but who made mistakes. It through his mistakes and his perseverance in his faith after his mistakes that many lessons can be learned.
Matthew 14 contains the archetypal encounter between Peter and Jesus which could easily be used to describe the divine call within each of us. That this is a dialogue must be accepted and understood. God begins the conversation.
“Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid.”
“Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” Man replies and complies to God’s request. Faith is stronger at the beginning.
“Lord, save me!” At some point if the request becomes to difficult or to heavy, man might stumble or become afraid of falling. Then, he either stops or retreats or gives up and then asks for God’s assistance.
“O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” God is always there to help. Man must allow himself to believe.
The actual story in Matthew with Peter on the boat is very beautiful in its simplicity. In those verses we see a man eager to follow God and then something happens. A stray thought or something interrupts Peter’s devotion for an instance and God saves him.
Often it is from the simple repetitions in life and faith that resonance is gained.
The most inspiring thing about faith is the reality that at any moment in our lives we can receive God’s call. Anyone can receive it; the courageous will respond.
As with any choice, anxiety, angst, and even fear may tease or cloud judgement with questions or assumptions. The stronger a man’s sense of faith, the stronger is his resolve and ability to accept God’s request and live his life in God’s service.
The call can fill a man with hope, love, mercy, and compassion. Goodness may briefly opens a man’s eyes to the grandeur and beauty of God’s love. This introduction may lead to both virtuous thoughts and virtuous living. God offers a calming optimism as long as we can remain patient and allow ourselves to believe.
I like the stories which feature Peter. He is approachable because he is so naturally, human. Peter does not instantly become a paragon of virtue. Instead, he remains a human being who loved God but who made mistakes. It through his mistakes and his perseverance in his faith after his mistakes that many lessons can be learned.
Matthew 14 contains the archetypal encounter between Peter and Jesus which could easily be used to describe the divine call within each of us. That this is a dialogue must be accepted and understood. God begins the conversation.
“Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid.”
“Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” Man replies and complies to God’s request. Faith is stronger at the beginning.
“Lord, save me!” At some point if the request becomes to difficult or to heavy, man might stumble or become afraid of falling. Then, he either stops or retreats or gives up and then asks for God’s assistance.
“O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” God is always there to help. Man must allow himself to believe.
The actual story in Matthew with Peter on the boat is very beautiful in its simplicity. In those verses we see a man eager to follow God and then something happens. A stray thought or something interrupts Peter’s devotion for an instance and God saves him.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Almost Daily Thought
An honest spirituality is always reverent. It allows wondering at all things which come before our senses. The grandeur of life is visible in a simple blade of grass or a crushed aluminum can. Honest spirituality encourages the eyes and the soul to search for the signs and symbols of the Divine.
First Words
The first words are often the most difficult to create. This morning my mind is scattered with all types of topics ranging from Healthcare reform to “Race in America” to the Twilight movies.
Life is filled with all types of discussion topics and diversions. It would be easy to succumb to the idea that this is an era of randomness, fueled and fooled by technology. Between the internet, smart phones, and wide screen televisions our eyes are connected to the world whether we want to be connected or not. I am not against technology. I am concerned with the application of technology.
Human intercourse used to be very simple. Either you were in the same room having a conversation or you communicated through written letters. A few years passed and the telephone was invented. That added one more way. You could call from across town or around the world and talk and have a conversation. Then, the internet came along a couple of years later and the choices for communication has increased.
Technology has not improved our conversations. In many ways it has destroyed it. Recently, I had a conversation with a good friend about does it feel like to be in love. I was stumped and unable to really satisfactorily describe the feeling.
Technology pretends to make processes more efficient. In business and professional this appears to have some validity; however, in interpersonal affairs technology creates all types of little problems which are glossed over.
Being a good Catholic means looking at everything that is available and deciding what makes sense for you as an individual. Will that new smart phone really improve how you pray? Being a good Catholic means being concerned about the entire world and not just a little personal spot. Does this computer game really help me to understand the Passion of Christ? Being a good Catholic means finding a way to spread the Word. Technology has always assisted with that.
Human beings need to have time alone, to reflect upon their lives, to reflect upon their faith. Discernment is a very important aspect of being Catholic; our faith always needs as more workers to do God’s work. The church pleads with its members to consider different vocations, different ways of doing God’s work. The church’s call for vocations is a very beautiful direct appeal. It reminds us that the church is a living breathing entity that wants to have a conversation, a direct face to face conversation with everyone and more importantly the church wants to help each and everyone of us to have an ongoing face to face conversation with God.
Life is filled with all types of discussion topics and diversions. It would be easy to succumb to the idea that this is an era of randomness, fueled and fooled by technology. Between the internet, smart phones, and wide screen televisions our eyes are connected to the world whether we want to be connected or not. I am not against technology. I am concerned with the application of technology.
Human intercourse used to be very simple. Either you were in the same room having a conversation or you communicated through written letters. A few years passed and the telephone was invented. That added one more way. You could call from across town or around the world and talk and have a conversation. Then, the internet came along a couple of years later and the choices for communication has increased.
Technology has not improved our conversations. In many ways it has destroyed it. Recently, I had a conversation with a good friend about does it feel like to be in love. I was stumped and unable to really satisfactorily describe the feeling.
Technology pretends to make processes more efficient. In business and professional this appears to have some validity; however, in interpersonal affairs technology creates all types of little problems which are glossed over.
Being a good Catholic means looking at everything that is available and deciding what makes sense for you as an individual. Will that new smart phone really improve how you pray? Being a good Catholic means being concerned about the entire world and not just a little personal spot. Does this computer game really help me to understand the Passion of Christ? Being a good Catholic means finding a way to spread the Word. Technology has always assisted with that.
Human beings need to have time alone, to reflect upon their lives, to reflect upon their faith. Discernment is a very important aspect of being Catholic; our faith always needs as more workers to do God’s work. The church pleads with its members to consider different vocations, different ways of doing God’s work. The church’s call for vocations is a very beautiful direct appeal. It reminds us that the church is a living breathing entity that wants to have a conversation, a direct face to face conversation with everyone and more importantly the church wants to help each and everyone of us to have an ongoing face to face conversation with God.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Almost Daily Thought
August 2
Respect only those who possess characters that are humble, obedient, merciful. Respect those who in the course of their daily lives reflect God’s goodness and love. Avoid those who make their life’s accomplishments more important than their life with God.
Respect only those who possess characters that are humble, obedient, merciful. Respect those who in the course of their daily lives reflect God’s goodness and love. Avoid those who make their life’s accomplishments more important than their life with God.
A Bit of Stillness 8/2/09
At seven-thirty in the morning, few sounds can be heard. Surprisingly, most random urban sounds are non-existent. Mechanical sounds from nearby buildings can be heard as well as some type of incessant flapping noise which sounds like a cord blowing in the wind and hitting the closed window. The only random sounds are the black birds squawking as they sit on the flight.
At seven-forty the stillness provides all types of stimulation for the imagination. Plans about the day shimmer in the wonder improvisation stages within waking minds, shimmer briefly before fading away. Modern life is a wonderful improvisation. Modern life is unscripted. Modern life when all the electronic gizmos are removed is really no different than life one hundred years ago.
Affluence often fuels the desire to influence or to attempt to influence others. A sense of universal entitlement is the byproduct of this affluence which also produces a haphazard angst.
At seven fifty-five, the computer catches a typographical error. The sky remains a cool, dull gray. The heavy duty sounds of diesel engines can be heard from the streets down below. A stray sound like a gunshot could also be heard. Maybe it was a backfiring automobile engine trying to start.
In the stillness of this morning, my thoughts are of the things that I want to do today. The top of the list is go to Mass. Sitting here allowed me to begin to clear my mind of extraneous thoughts as I try to become more humble, open, and mindful. Spires from different churches in the city are visible. The birds souns again. The sky appears to become darker. Is this dawn? Is this dusk.
Faint, delicate raindrops can be felt. At the edge of the horizon, the sky is a lighter gray, almost white. This Sunday morning is alive with God’s mystery, God’s hope, God’s love. The air is damp, cool. In the distance at an intersection the red light is clearly visible before changing to green. Two or three cars with headlights on move through the intersection. The aroma of freshly fried bacon floats on top of a faint breeze.
The bird have flown away. The fragile raindrops have ceased. A distant flashing DON’T WALK sign is easily seen. The grumblings of jet engines taking off and landing can be heard. A red convertible with a soft black top drives into and ally, then stops and slowly backs into a parking space. The wind blows harshly. Exposed skin wants to shiver. Fog covers the top of the Washington Monument and the Capitol dome. More dark gray cloudsThis is a time of quiet, of patience, of stillness.
Eight thirty-nine and time for prayer.
At seven-forty the stillness provides all types of stimulation for the imagination. Plans about the day shimmer in the wonder improvisation stages within waking minds, shimmer briefly before fading away. Modern life is a wonderful improvisation. Modern life is unscripted. Modern life when all the electronic gizmos are removed is really no different than life one hundred years ago.
Affluence often fuels the desire to influence or to attempt to influence others. A sense of universal entitlement is the byproduct of this affluence which also produces a haphazard angst.
At seven fifty-five, the computer catches a typographical error. The sky remains a cool, dull gray. The heavy duty sounds of diesel engines can be heard from the streets down below. A stray sound like a gunshot could also be heard. Maybe it was a backfiring automobile engine trying to start.
In the stillness of this morning, my thoughts are of the things that I want to do today. The top of the list is go to Mass. Sitting here allowed me to begin to clear my mind of extraneous thoughts as I try to become more humble, open, and mindful. Spires from different churches in the city are visible. The birds souns again. The sky appears to become darker. Is this dawn? Is this dusk.
Faint, delicate raindrops can be felt. At the edge of the horizon, the sky is a lighter gray, almost white. This Sunday morning is alive with God’s mystery, God’s hope, God’s love. The air is damp, cool. In the distance at an intersection the red light is clearly visible before changing to green. Two or three cars with headlights on move through the intersection. The aroma of freshly fried bacon floats on top of a faint breeze.
The bird have flown away. The fragile raindrops have ceased. A distant flashing DON’T WALK sign is easily seen. The grumblings of jet engines taking off and landing can be heard. A red convertible with a soft black top drives into and ally, then stops and slowly backs into a parking space. The wind blows harshly. Exposed skin wants to shiver. Fog covers the top of the Washington Monument and the Capitol dome. More dark gray cloudsThis is a time of quiet, of patience, of stillness.
Eight thirty-nine and time for prayer.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
A Bit of Fun, 8/1/09
Well, I am building this entry in the recreation of an early August Saturday morning sunshine as about 20 other men are building an apartment house behind my building. I must admit that I know very little about construction other than the words wood, nails, hammer, and drywall. But, looking down into this unfinished building I must admit to being just a little bewildered. All I see is concrete and aluminum and something which looks like corrugated steel. What a racket those 20 men make with their drills and hammers and trash cans and cell phones. I am afraid to look to closely, I might end up murdered for being too curious and then covered in marble and placed in the lobby or something.
They call it building renovation and I wonder.
Can our souls be renovated? rejuvenated?
I like asking questions.
Well I sit here almost everyday at different times during the day. Sometimes I am here early in the morning, sometimes after dinner, or later. Being outdoors, above the city, provides a great view of the architecture, a great view of exteriors of the buildings. I never feel sick while staring at the trees or the brick and glass covered buildings. Sometimes my mind does have a momentary pain like the spot on the arm where the vaccination needle penetrates the skin. It’s a good pain; concern for others accompanies it. This pain is equal parts mixture of anxiety, hope, love. It’s like hoping that your left arm heals enough so you can play in the big game tonight because the coach and other team members are depending on you.
In life we depend upon people to help us every day of our lives. Modern life is built upon interdependence. It is becoming more difficult to be isolationists. In life the lucky ones have learned to trust their faith and depend on God.
God provides us with so many wonderful things. It is easy to take God for granted. Modern life likes to present the idea that man is master of the universe. Modern life likes to reduce the importance of God, move God from the center to the periphery of our lives. Religion offers a kind of vaccination, protection from some of the ills of modern living. Religion also poses many questions which will take a lifetime to answer. Sometimes the same question will be asked again and again.
Speaking about religion I suppose it is obvious that I am very partial to the Catholic way of life. For me it provides a simple framework, a glorious introduction to God. I believe that as we move through our lives, we are constantly moving toward, and then moving away from God. When we drift away, the event or feeling that pulls us back is a new introduction to the wonders of God.
I wish that we could share the moments when we decided to make God and being a servant of God as priorities in our lives. It would be great to tell someone in twenty-five years that you were having coffee at small shop with some friends on a Tuesday afternoon when you received a Divine Call, and decided to respond as a humble, obedient servant.
Building a good relationship involves accepting that it will be hard work, involve sacrifices, and that it will always be ongoing and unfinished.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)